Thursday, January 12, 2006

Lost in a sea of leotards and butt-floss

As part of my new year's resolution, I joined a gym.  Now, there are a couple things you need to know about me (if you don't already).  One, I pretty much have the same new year's rezzy's every year, one of them involving fitness and health in some way or another.  It just seems that if I re-state it in different words, maybe one of these years, it will actually stick.  Also, I've wanted to join a gym since last, oh, April or so.  Why did I not become a card-carrying aerobics nut until now?  I kept being put off by the price tag, mostly.  I researched all kinds of gyms - small, large, independent, trendy, coed, women-only... pretty much, I kept coming back to 24 hour fitness.  They had most of everything I wanted - location being a biggie.  But also, most of my friends are members of this gym and if I ever need a kick in the pants to stay motivated, I already have a built-in buddy system.  See?  I am already planning out my strategies on how to sabotage my inner saboteur. 

Onwards and upwards.... I went to the gym for the first time last night.  I've been to gyms before.  I've worked out on a semi-regular basis.  I was an athlete in high school and pretty much know my way around these places and what to do to fit in and get the job done.  But last night, instead of staying in my "safe place," I decided to conquer one of my fears head on.  I decided to go to a "class." 

The class I chose was Turbo Kickboxing.  I've always wanted to take a kickboxing class, jabbing and round-housing my way to a tight butt and killer abs.  However, I did not think about the fact that there may be a beginner's class I could take to ease me into this kind of thing.  Having never taken any kind of aerobic's class before, I had no idea what to even expect.  I just went and did and hoped for the best.  Unfortunately, the "best" was pretty much everyone's worst nightmare.  The only way to make it worse would be if I had shown up naked.  In the future, if anyone wants some tips before taking a class like this, here is some advice:

1. Have a very sure knowledge of your left and right.  When the instructor says to touch your right knee to your nose and jab with your left hand, there is no time to make the "L" signs to figure out which is which.

2. Be able to speak French or some other foreign language.  I have no idea what the instructor was saying half the time, but I'm sure it was a mixture of English, French and something she just made up.

3. If you are not impossibly thin and have a perfect body, don't hang out in the front row.  (Luckily, I already knew this one.)

4. If possible, do not stand in front of the glass windows that show the class off to the rest of the gym.  At best, you will be branded for life as the girl with no rhythm; worst, the girl who cannot tell her left from her right.

5. And finally, if taking any kind of kickboxing class, make sure you have enough room around you so as not to kick your neighbor in the chest.

I think tonight I'll just stick to the free weights. (Especially after reading up on this site.*)


* I think I got this link from you, Nina.  Thanks!

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