Running Wild

By: Rolnitzky

I've started a running program.

No, really. You can stop laughing now.

I've been running, albeit sporadically, for a couple months now. I'd A) go for a jog, then B) do nothing for a couple weeks. C) Repeat. It was just enough to keep my body remembering how torturous running can be and how sore I get in the following two days. It would always take me a couple weeks to talk myself into doing it again. And there you have it, folks. A step by step guide to creating a vicious cycle.

I have a friend who is preparing to run the New York Marathon in the next week or two. He's been so disciplined in his running, his training, and being able to say no to more than one beer. Recently, I snagged an old copy of Runner's World magazine off his desk and proceeded to flip through it, catching an article here or a tagline there. One thing that caught my eye was an article about the rise of women marathoners. Women - Girls - my age are training for marathons after injuries, kids, or just a plain ol' change of heart. Women who have never run before are suddenly deciding that running a marathon is a goal they want to achieve. And here I am, thinking I would be satisfied with getting through a whole 5K without stopping. I found it really inspirational. (I know, quell the gag reflex.) The other thing I found noteworthy in the magazine was a small article discussing motivation. Instead of trying to get yourself excited about your run, it's easier for some people to just not allow themselves any excuses. Sometimes when you're sore or tired or just not in the general mood to get your butt in gear, it's easy to say, "I'm out of time," or "I'll workout tomorrow." Whatever. Just don't allow yourself the excuse. "I'm gonna 'git'r'done' and when I'm done it will be over and I will feel good about myself, so shut up with the whining." Yeah, I talk to myself. So shoot me.

Anyway, the last thing that has gotten me going on my kick (and yes, I believe sticking to my schedule for 1 1/2 weeks qualifies as a 'kick') is Mike's dog. Normally, we take him for a 20 minute walk around the block and as we meander, he sniffs and pees on pretty much everything in sight and when we got home, he would be just as energetic as before. The nice thing about taking him out while I'm running is that A) I feel safer - it's dark in the evenings now and B) He's too tired to jump around and get in my face when we're done. A tired dog is a happy dog.

I've only been running 2 or 3 times a week, trying to work up to 4 or 5. On the days that I don't run, I walk with a friend at work on my lunchbreak. Then there's the whole parking off-campus and walking to class because I'm too cheap to get a parking permit. That's got to count for something. And I went shopping for myself last week - granola and yogurt and raw almonds and spinach and oranges. All those things that you are supposed to eat but usually don't.

The result of all this? I feel good. I feel more energetic, more confident and more proud (prouder?) of myself. I envision a metamorphosis of sorts with the me on the inside matching the me of my outside. Who knows if my 'kick' will turn out to be habit forming... All's I know is I'm wearing heels and a pencil skirt today and I feel good.

The Old Apartment

Under the Neon
More pictures by d.b. blas

I've been car-pooling with a friend of mine on Tuesdays and Thursdays- the same friend who's been renting my old apartment from me for a few months. Yesterday, he tells me, "We have to talk." Now, when someone says this to you, no good can come of it since (in my experience) this phrase is most used when your significant other wants to breakup with you. Egads!

My brain starts racing to figure out what I've done wrong.  I can't think of a single time I've spoken badly about this person or crossed paths with him.  I am stumped.

So, we get to the car and proceed down the freeway.  The silence is deafening.  Well, that or the ambient sound of the car engine is causing my hearing loss.  Either way, it's uncomfortable to be sitting there, not talking.  So, with my usual social grace, I abruptly tell him, "Out with it."

Seems that my friend was unexpectedly laid off.  Bummer for him.  In fact, lotsa bummer for him.  He didn't even see it coming.  In fact, he thought things were on their way to getting much, much better.

As the effects from this single event start to trickle down, he tries to give me a heads-up.  To the point: he may need to be out of the apartment by December 1 (ie. not able to pay rent) unless he fins another IT job, pronto.

Now, I know I've been yammering on and on about how much I miss San Diego, how I can't wait to move back, and how much I miss my little apartment.  All of this is still true.  However, with my finances the way they are (on the road to recovery), I was hoping to delay this otherwise wonderful moment until June or July of 2006.  That way I'd, you know, actually be able to afford it.

So, I'm wrestling with this decision.  Do I move back in and live part time in SD and part time in T-mec, taking advantage of the proximity to school and such, but also living as a pauper?  Or do I move out of the apartment altogether, because Mike has ties that don't allow him to take up residence in SD for another 2 years anyway?

These are the days of my life....

Been a long time, been a long time, been a long lonely, lonely, lonely time

You know, the silly thing about these long absences of mine, is that I've been writing. What about, you might ask? Some personal stuff; like so personal and/or dark and/or whatever that if it came to light that I was writing about it, someone might take it the wrong way or {egads!} get hurt feelings that perhaps their privacy was just a teensy, tinsey bit too invaded. The other stuff? I guess I'm just too lazy to post it on-line. Maybe I'm not the blogging kind of girl. Maybe I'm a Luddite through and through.

But, nope, here I am. At least for today. And here's what I gots for yous guys:

The start of another glorious week. Been working on my assignment for Graphic Design class. It's been fun and has whizzed by. I'll probably redo some things as more ideas come to be - it's nice to get more creative as I warm up and keep doing logos. (That's the topic of the assignment - logos and body copy.) That's usually how my creative process goes though. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to do this assignment outside the lab at school, but I've downloaded so many fonts over the years, that my work computer is okay. (editor's note: It's good enough to give shape to my ideas, but they're not always as polished as I would like since I don't have all the correct tools. Damn adobe for making their products so expensive yet essential!)

Saw my mom for the first time since the last family birthday in August. I'm such a slacker sometimes - we only live about an hour away. But with school and everything else going on, sometimes (most of the time) Santee is the last place I want to spend my time (and gas money) driving to. Anyway, Mike went with me and we talked about how her and my dad's Hawai'i trip went. My dad had gotten 3 hours of sleep, so was napping when we went over. It was good to talk to her and fun to look at pictures of my Tongan relatives (who now reside in Hawai'i).

In another month or so (less, even!) there will be a houseful of relatives for my folks to contend with. Aaron will be home after 2 years on his mission. Jared will be accompanied by Tanya and Caitlin. Aric and Brenda will have Cole and Emma in tow. My grandmother and her husband, Hershey will be down from Portland, OR. And then there are my mom and dad, me, Mike and possibly his kids. For the first time in 4 years, all of the Barrera kids will be together. Mom is arranging for family pictures to be taken. I'll be sure to bring the digital camera and take candids like I did at Cole's Blessing. It will be weird to have everyone around again. After all the initial excitement, I am anxious to see how Aaron will re-settle into the family house and life in general - as a "civilian". I hope all will go fairly smooth for him.

I was surprised to think about my niece, Emma, the other day and realize how much I have missed her. I haven't seen her for awhile and I wonder if she'll have completely forgotten me. For while, she would come to me and hang out. It's such a rewarding feeling when you feel wanted by a child and you realize that a bond has been formed between the two of you.

Mike and I went to the Wild Animal Park yesterday before his daughter's soccer game. In the hour or so we walked around there, I took about 125 pictures. A few came out really good - a small herd of elephants, a lionness, a couple of birds grooming their feathers, and a few macro shots of some plants. I'm most excited about the elephants, though. I can't wait to go home and play, I mean edit them. (editor's note: See, I delivered! Just, not all 125.)

Anyway, that's it. I'll post the photos later, tomorrow hopefully. Maybe I'll even write again soon, okay?